My Boss Is a Bully What Can I do? - Bullying in the Workplace
Posted: Thursday, July 09, 2009
by Julian Price
http://www.uk-freelance-content-writer.co.uk/
My Boss is a Bully: Bullying in the workplace is clearly prevalent and an ongoing problem, especially looking at some of the comments below this article
How many workers are afraid of their bosses these days? How many of us cower and tremble just at the thought of our boss? How many work places are still run by lazy tyrants who revel and feed on the power they believe they wield?
Of course there are those bosses that are faced with the ever more common "skive at every opportunity" workforce for whom a little more strictness is certainly more than warranted.
Yet I speak of the kind of boss mentioned in my introduction, the one that delights in the power of manipulating fellow, and some might say, more civilised human beings than themselves. If I hadn't heard the tales and stories with my own ears I wouldn't have believed bosses like this still existed. You would be forgiven for having nightmares of Oliver Twist proportions!
Bosses that actively seek out the more timid members of the workforce and use them as their menial task minions. "Fetch this", "take that" and "do the other" are the orders barked out, none of which are found in the employee's job description.
Blamed for errors that are someone else's, (often the boss themselves!) reprimanded and humiliated in front of all the other staff, all of whom are too afraid or too interested in their own position to stand up for their harassed co workers.
"Take legal action!" Cry the masses. For those with strong will or those prepared to leave their job for the cause, (usually those who either don't need the salary or already have another job to walk into) this might be an option but for many other folk, those who prefer to avoid confrontation or those that need the job to pay mortgages, bills and provide for children, this is an impossible task.
Often a boss who behaves in such a despicable manner, usually have their back covered from all angles. They are well connected; they have even more powerful people smiling down on them from somewhere. They act without remorse and become merciless to those who through no fault of their own are rendered defenceless.
The only likely outcome to such legal action is a jobless employee and a lightly knuckle rapped boss with feet up on their desk already targeting their next hapless/helpless victim.
Of course much of this is a generalisation and of course there are some superb bosses out there but I have heard enough to perhaps raise this as an issue and at least create debate.
Thank you for listening.
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More commentsThe workforce can be a vicious place. Disrespect to the point of bullying should not be tolerated. Wouldn't it be wonderful if employees who observe someone being treated unfairly, could unite, and demand changes? Isn't that what we would want our children to do in the playground if they saw someone being picked on? Lead by example. As my husband says to his students, "Always try, never lie, always help the little guy." Great article Julian, hopefully people will read it and recognize where they can make changes.Thanks Brianna for taking time to read me and leave a comment. Very much appreciated. I think bullying, although a serious problem in its own right is actually part of a bigger picture. I have written about the breakdown of respect and common courtesy before, but really once the basics have gone, where does that lead us all? Into an ever degrading society, where respect toward our fellow humans isnt even a priority anymore. Thanks again. Julian
My Bully Boss uses loud outbursts throughout the day to keep employees off balance. She is generally agitated and high-strung, causing widespread chaos among coworkers. Once everyone is equally agitated and off balance, she swoops in with a "meeting" threatening all sorts of dreaded predictions about layoffs and dismissals, etc.Morale is ridiculously low, personal motivation/initiation is virtually non-existent and attendance and puctuality are at an alarming low! What a surprise.It seems your boss's bullying techniques are carefully planned and finely honed which in many ways makes it even more despicable. I am sure with the low morale you speak of and other motivational problems, will come back to haunt her one day. Thanks for adding to the discussion and I hope your situation improves soon somehow. Regards, Julian
My husband is a victim of a spiteful, bullying boss. It is such an unforgivable thing for a so called professional to engage in. We really have nowhere to turn because no law says a boss has to be good! I have suggested he keep journals of all the things his boss says and does, but equally importantly, all the actions he takes to rectify anything she comes up with to hound him about. This is a good way of noting how often the requests change to try and make him look like an incompetent idiot too. I have also suggested he email her to confirm everything they talk about as a log of conversations he can print out if he needs to and try to have witnesses to their conversations whenever possible.Today, he did try and talk to her about what is going on (sort of) with, we hope, a small hint of success but with her you never know. She is such a viper! There is a very interesting study called "How to Bust the Office Bully" bu Arizona State University. Worth a read.Thank you for your comment Uzume. Appreciate you taking time to add to the discussion here and share some of your experiences of bullying. Will make sure to check out the study you mentioned. Thanks again.My husband has a bully for a boss too. I cant believe he can keep his cool sometimes with her. I would really like some advice if anyone has any. I have told him that he should start to write down things that she says to him and things she blames him for. Today an incident happened that infuriated me. My husband was supposed to start his shift today at 5:00pm. He wasn't feeling well but decided to wait to see if he would feel better by then. By 4:00 he wasn't any better so he called in to work and got some phone numbers of coworkers he could call to fill his shift. He called his boss after he found someone so that she could approve them working his shift. He left a voicemail and then 10 minutes later got a call back. I could hear their conversation and it made me so mad. She basically said that she didnt believe he was sick and that the person he got to cover him wasnt as fast as him and that was why she wasnt working those ours. Then she went into him for not showing up for work this past saturday and not even calling. This is what gets me because he wasnt even scheduled to work that saturday. I made him tell her that and she said it didnt matter because they had a verbal agreement that he was to work. This verbal agreement was about a month ago when he asked her for more hours and she said he could unload the truck on saturday mornings. And he had for the last few saturdays because it was on his schedule. We saw that he didnt have to work on saturday and we planned a trip up to see my parents and my brother. She has in the past called the house to speak to him and i have answered and she has told me that my husband need to grow up and be a man because he had been calling in and getting his schedule on monday mornings. First of all she doesnt make the schedule for the next week until the weekend, usually on sunday. He doesnt work on sunday. Does she really expect him to drive in to work to get his schedule on monday morning to see when he works that day? I know he is sick of everything she puts him though, but i dont like to see him being treated unfairly when he is a hard worker and covers for other peoples shifts all the time (aka helping his boss) It just seems that he can do 10 things right and then one thing happens that she doesnt like and she blows up and tells him that he is replacable and asks him if he wants to quit over and over. The thing is that he has worked there 6 months and there are only two other employees still there that were there when he was hired. Everyone is either getting fired or quitting. I keep telling him to stick it out and that she just wants him to quit, but at the same time I dont want him to have to put up with her anymore. They dont have an HR dept. and she is the only boss. What can he do?
I had a screamer for a boss once. Not good. He could not understand why good people kept leaving. Unfortunately he also was part owner of company.Yes Jim, its the power you see. It gets to their heads. Thanks for your comment!
It seems the problems of bullying go right to the top. Current claims and counter claims of bullying at 10 Downing Street and at the very pinnacle of government are dominating headlines in the UK.
I am currently employed by an out of control boss. I would leave, but I am having trouble finding another job! My boss has no business being in the position he is in. He basically has a lot of family money and decided to start a business with no experience. The business is not doing very well at all and he blames everyone in the company. Constantly threatens to fire all of us and to top it off he is on drugs! Yesterday was the worst. I was bymyself with him and he came in the office on something which made him crazy. Talking to himself, hyper, weird outbursts. I was really scared. It was time to leave and I was shaking because I didn't know what he would do when I told him I was leaving. Ended up crying in my car. He often throws around how much money he has. One employee found another job and he was furious and now plans to sue the employee for losing him money! This situation is so bad -- not sure what to do. I need to be employed and I'm even afraid to quit since I don't know what he will do to me.
This problem is prevalent and I have seen it in action as a co-worker. More frequently the issue comes up in my team building coaching sessions.
Here is a different perspective. In many instances, the bosses of which you speak have a preference for a Dominant style of behaviour (D- style). If the D-style is better understood individuals will find life under their leadership less oppressive.
Step1: Ensure that you add value to the team and that the boss is fully aware of your contribution. (Toot your horn!).
Step 2: Even if you have to fake it, be strong in your interaction with the boss. Show no signs of weakness. The D-style boss respects strength. Remember, you are contributing to the success of the team. They do not want to lose that..it makes THEM look good.
Step 3: Avoid challenging the boss in front of others. Seek private audience and state your views in a calm, firm manner.
That gets you started on the road to happier co-existence. Harbouring hurt and having visions of legal remedies will mostly serve to frustrate you and raise your blood pressure.Hi Trevor, thanks for reading. Some really good suggestions here and I am sure very useful to many. However, some people, no matter how many coaching sessions they have, are never going to be able to adopt a D-style...not even fake one because, well, they just can't. Otherwise, though, probably very sensible advice. Thanks again for contributing.
By the amount of comment you evidently struck a sore spot. The bottom line is this throw that TEAM bull out. Its all for themselves so don't think a petition or anything will solve the problem. In my state we have, get this, "the right to work." That means the boss can do anything short of physical violence. They can't descriminate by sex, race or religion but try to prove that. In other words the boss rules. Short of getting up and going you need to adapt. I'm not saying its right just what it is. Good job.Thanks for adding to the discussion with your interesting observations. Much appreciated.
My boss has bullied and bullied me, it got to the stage I felt sick when going to work, her bullying of me is obvious to all others at work, they often come up to me and say sorry for her behaviour .
She has now not given me any shifts at work so I now dont get any work - so I guess she has terminated my employment.
My whole experience of working for her has been totally eye opening, I have NEVER EVER had this happened ever in my whole working life of 35 years.
If you have this happen to you DO something about it it is against your human rights. .
I work at a law firm. I am also paralegal student. I used to be in sales and marketing. However, I got tired of clients rejecting me and yelling at me, I used to have a thicker skin, but one day I just got sick of being in outside sales. So I went back to school. I had big dreams of respect and regular paychecks. I work part time at a law firm. I earn under 700.00. I graduate next semester. I try my ultra best at work. I always go the extra mile. In doing so, working late, on the way home I was in an accident. I was rear ended at a high speed, dead stop.
Lucky for me it was during winter break. While on break I finished up a project from work. I submitted my hours. the cost of the med summary was 300.00 for 24 hours work and hundreds of medical papers read and summarized. It was the first time I ever did a med summ. I earned 472.00 in three weeks. 472.00 in three weeks America. I work at a law firm and have for 16 months. What is going on?
When I told my attorney how many hours I worked he flipped out, started screaming his lungs out, said he cannot believe it took me that long, accused me of not working 24 hours. Said I did not work on the 20th or the 19th. at the office, which were each 6 hour days.
I reminded him that in fact I did work. On that day I texted him that he did not even say good bye. I left at 6pm. I had to remind him that on the way home because I chose to work late, I was hit by a car! My shoulder was separated, my ears are still ringing, my knee was injured, and on top of that while I was injured, on BREAK, I finished up the med summ. so that he would not have to wait an extra week for it to be finished.
He said, not screaming for everyone to hear. Oh right, I guess you did work. Did he scream out OH I AM WRONG FOR ACCUSING YOU OF PADDING YOUR HOURS. THEREFORE ATTEMPTING TO STEAL MONEY FROM THE COMPANY. TO BE UNJUSTLY ENRICHED? SORRY I CALLED YOU A LIAR AND A CHEAT FOR ALL THE WORLD TO HEAR AND THAT YOUR WORK WAS NOT WORTH THE MONEY I PAID? YOUR EFFORTS OF STAYING LATE AND WORKING ON VACATION WERE LOST ON A BULLY? Ah no, he did not. I sent him a text about how he really humiliated me and hurt my feelings, sent me home crying. He said, I guess I don't need you to come in this week.
Oh, I replied so it is like that? I stand up for myself and you threaten me with starvation and homelessness? He texts back, I am a bad man. WOW.
How would it look if I got fired from my first job that lasted 16 months as I am about to graduate? I texted him that he knows he has me by the short hairs that I would like to continue until I graduate and leave on good terms and that I would see him on Wednesday. I ended with lets don't mention this again.
What did I learn? I learned going the extra mile does not pay. Initiative does not pay. I learned that I an educated experienced American woman, make less than illegal aliens. They call South Carolina a right to work state. More like the right to be a slave state, the right to be abused state, the right to speak up and get fired state. The right to starve state. The right to stand alone in the dark state.
Why did we give away our rights? Did we really think the bosses would become nicer and more generous?
Totally bummin, now I am on my way to get my car fixed after working the extra hour.
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