Special Pizza - Diary of a Fussy Eater, Coping With a Unique Diet
Posted: Wednesday, September 02, 2009
by Julian Price
http://www.uk-freelance-content-writer.co.uk/
When I place my order at the local pizza establishment, the staff have become so accustomed to my strange request that I am greeted with comments such as, " Oh, it's you again!" or " Ah yes, I am normally in the kitchen when that order comes in" and " Yours is the special pizza isn't it?"
So, what exactly is a special pizza? Well for me it's a deep pan pizza crust with just bacon on it. That's right, no cheese, and no tomato, in fact no to anything else other than the bacon and pizza crust.
Perhaps a little background information will help, or maybe it won't! I have been what many would describe as an awkward eater since I was a young boy. I prefer to refer to it as a disability that hampers my social (eating) life and has the potential to produce embarrassing moments in public. I have super sensitive taste buds you see and anything with strong flavour is rejected at the point of entry! There are theories as to why I may have this "condition" but nothing scientific so I just grin and bear it.
Can you imagine what a nightmare Brussels sprouts were when my mother used to insist I stay at the table until I had cleared my plate? Thankfully, she has mellowed a little now I am in my thirties and my wife is a little more forgiving! I know I am not alone in my loathing of sprouts and I have often considered setting up some kind of " Brussels Sprout Haters Anonymous" club. If any of you would like to join let me know and perhaps we can form our own social networking site!
Anyway, I digress....awkward eater....special pizza. When I "dine" out, unfortunately my standard order is fries (or potato of some description), bread and a drink. That's It! Do you know how many restaurants cater for that kind of menu in the UK ? Not many, that's how many. Of course bread and potatoes must be difficult for any kitchen to rustle up, so rare are the ingredients!
A few days ago at a nameless fast food joint, I attempted to order a chicken, bacon and lettuce sandwich, minus the chicken, so what does that make it, a lettuce and bacon sandwich, or as I like to call it a " BLT without the T!".
Honestly, how complicated does that sound? The first question the guy serving me asked was, " Obviously you want the chicken with that?" " Umm, actually no!" We then went through a ridiculous procedure of working out what he could charge me on the till that didn't have the option to simply remove the chicken from a chicken sandwich!
When he finally worked out that he could only charge me full chicken sandwich price, he then had to relay this information to the kitchen and three chicken sandwiches, (fully packed with, yes, you guessed it, chicken!) much bemusement and a dose of rudeness later, I finally received a bacon and lettuce sandwich, with COLD bacon!
You must forgive my sarcasm but after thirty odd years this becomes more than a little tiresome. I am not ungrateful; I survive just fine at home and am able to concoct a reasonably healthy diet.
I just think there is very little sympathy for people with this kind of problem. I guess you could call what I have, an eating disorder of some kind, albeit a minor one. I hate to think of the trouble and hassle people with other eating disorders or special dietary requirements have to endure.
I know many restaurants make an effort these days to cater for as many dietary variations as possible but I have lost count of the amount of embarrassing situations I have been through because of being a so called "awkward eater".
Anyway, food rant over, Have a nice day! ( Would you like fries with that??)
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Top-level comments on this article: (4 total)Oddly enough, strange as your eating habits are and the descriptions of the food you like to eat, your article made me hungry. I could honestly go for a pizza with nothing but bacon on it right about now. I'm the opposite of you, I eat everything and anything. Thanks for sharing your deep, dark secret with us.Once you go bacon pizza, you never go back! Hope you went and raided the freezer after reading, dont want to be held responsible for any malnourishment on searchwarp! Thanks Brianna!
I too am very much a fan of bacon pizza, mine with cheese, no sauce and bacon. I love as well BLTs minus theT. I can go to any restaurant in town and they take my order but my sandwich arrives with the T, every time. Hahaha. oh how do these people function at all! Comical, thanks for the laugh, I though it was just me that had to deal with such things...Now the bacon pizza fans are coming out of the woodwork! I knew there were more of us! Thanks for the comment, You are not alone! Julian
Hi Julian.I have quite a number of food allergies that make it very difficult for me to eat out, but at least when I do the food tastes good to me.I think I saw something about your condition on a Nova Science NOW or something like that. You probably have a double dose (from both your mom and dad) of a gene that lets you taste bitter way better than most folks. As far as I know, there is no cure. Sorry. :)I enjoyed your "rant" and as one ranter to another ... well done or is that medium well.DianneHi Dianne, Thanks for the comment...I think (now you have told me I am beyond help and cure!lol). Laughing aside, it is interesting to hear about others who also have struggles with eating out. Probably more common than we think. Thanks, your fellow ranter...Julian
You sir are not a fussy eater- you go WAY beyond that! I am surprised you have found someone to accomodate your requests, such as they are.Well done!Thanks Ken...I think!! Am currently basking in the sweet afterglow of bacon pizza..ahhh..all is well with the world! Thanks for reading. JulianOoops! Let me clarify.I meant that in todays world it's hard to find a business willing to actually do what it takes to satisfy a customer.No worries Ken, I knew what you meant, was just being cheeky! I agree with you, it is amazing when you find a good bit of customer service these days! Cheers.
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